Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
