her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
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I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
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We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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