he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
