Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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