If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize