I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.