dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party