There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.