A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.