I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????