Me. At least after what I've been through.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
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Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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