Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dick very happy bro
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
