can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
