Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The beer is more important than you right now.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
