Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
