I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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