can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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