if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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