I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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