So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
