I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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