You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Holy shit dude........stairs
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
