JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
