Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
there is glitter all over my balls
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
