Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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