but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
