how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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