it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
