i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
