I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
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I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
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I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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