Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize