I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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