My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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