I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
