Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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