got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
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And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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