so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
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Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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