come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize