shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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