In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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