Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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