Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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