how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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