A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
