Please, let me fuck your mom
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
