yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
