I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
