Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
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I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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