I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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