Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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