I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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