She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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