what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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