Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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