Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
