please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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