I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
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There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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