So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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