We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
