Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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