you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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