I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
