Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
