i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize