i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
