New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
