I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize